by rachel frances
This is one of the many outcries from struggling and suicidal teenagers all over the world. Recently, news spread about Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14 year old New York High school student who took his life last month, or Jaime Hubley, 15 years old from Ottawa, Canada, and and Sam Denham, 13 years old from Kentucky, who took their lives last only last week. These three young men lived in different regions of the continent and lived very different lives from each other. Unfortunately, they had one undeniable association. They were all targets of incessant and long-term bullying.
If I were to speak from my heart, I would lay down all my words and rhetoric. If I could turn my words into a feeling and give it to you all I would. Sometimes words just fall short of expressing the deepest of emotions, or show fears coming true and dreams disappearing. My heart aches tonight, and leaves me speechless, with only ambivalent feelings of despair and motivation to make a difference in this world.
Where did this begin, and where is this going to end?
To the schools that have tried to cover up or dismiss the bullying; are denying their responsibility in this situation; or are ignoring the gravity of this ongoing problem: Do you feel you made the right decision? Or upon reflection, was there more you could have done?
To the parents of the fallen children and the ones alive and in pain: Forgive yourself, you do the best you can. Talk to your children. Hear them out without judgment, and refrain from telling them to “ignore it.” Instead, ask them what they think they need to get through this. Redirect their search for love back into and their loved ones and themselves. They need a lot of support during this time, and relentless reinforcement that they don’t need to “fit in” to be loveable. Role model this for them by standing by their side proudly, especially for our queer youth that are simultaneously dealing with puberty, teen angst, and now arbitrary discrimination because of who they love or who they are.
And to the bullies of the fallen teenagers and the ones who are suffering: It is time for you to take responsibility as well. Somewhere along the way, you didn’t get the message that to dominate and tear down another doesnt make you strong, it only proves your fear. Maybe your own experiences or pain caused emotions that resulted in an attack on someone more docile than yourself. Perhaps you may have not gotten the necessary firm guidance from parents, teachers, and administrators thus far, as we are in a generation in which there is fear to speak the truth, set limits, and get real with kids, for fear of suing, parental backlash, or enabling of children’s poor or offensive behavior, or loss of a job in an economy that we are told is crumbling. I’m so sorry for that, and I highly doubt any of you wanted a suicide on your conscience. This is your chance to make right what has passed by learning from this experience and reaching out to tell the world just how destructive and life-threatening bullying is.
Lastly, to those of you who say suicide is an attempt for fame like stars such as Gaga. Well, I’m going to refrain from commenting and let you just think about what you said.
So I ask: what is the turning point? How many lives are going to extinguish prematurely before a collective change in attitude emerges? If it were up to me, the change would happen right now, but I can’t do it myself. You all have strengths and you all have a voice to speak up against bullying and discrimination. After all, that’s what makes you an Equalizer! One of Equalize’s founding principles states: One person can make a difference, but together, we can start a revolution!
Love and light to you, my little Equalizers. Thank you for speaking up and saving a life today! <3
